Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

          Q: Is it difficult to let go of control?  Where does one begin?  A:   Letting go of control can be extremely difficult because we have been raised with control; it is taught to us and all around us.  Our parents, bosses, teachers, and...

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

Q: How does our need to control stiffen life’s possibilities?  A:   When we focus too intently on trying to control or change people and things we are putting “blinders” on our selves, and literally can’t see the options and opportunities that...

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #3: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less?  (Part 2) A: Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips Q&A #2 emphasized the importance of identifying our fears as the first step in reducing or removing them. Once you have a clearer...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Truth and Tips Q&A #1 explained how fear was the prime driver of our need to control others and outcomes. Q&A #2 is a logical follow up: Q:How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less? (Part One)  A:  Effectively reducing our...

Three Misconceptions About Acceptance

Three Misconceptions About Acceptance

Do you have trouble accepting annoying people in your life?  If you are like others I have spoken to on the matter, your thoughts on the subject might be similar to theirs: Why should I accept . . . My sister’s condescending behavior? My mother’s...

Letting Go of Control Truths

Letting Go of Control Truths

“Let go of control. You never had it in the first place!” Most control freaks do not agree with the above statement. What about you? Not sure you agree? Then consider this: “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you...

Acceptance or Denial? It’s Your Choice to Make!

Acceptance or Denial? It’s Your Choice to Make!

  When we are struggling in coping with a troubling issue, we basically have two choices: We can accept the underlying reality of the situation, or we can deny it.  It’s your choice to make! I strongly encourage people to choose acceptance...

Are You a Love Controller?

Are You a Love Controller?

Are you or your loved one a love controller? If so, this can be very hard on the relationship. Love control obstructs the romantic flow.  It forces the action, rather than allowing the love currents to unfold naturally so that people can relax...

The Link Between Addiction and Control

The Link Between Addiction and Control

The lives of addicts often reel out of control, especially for those who have not started down the path to personal recovery. Many feel ashamed and powerless over their addiction and many things in their lives. To counter their anxiety and...

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control. Hence, the subtitle of my book Losing...

Control and Impermanence

Control and Impermanence

One of the illusions about control is that many of us believe we can significantly alter or impact the natural flow of things, or as I like to say, “life’s natural currents.” This is why our friends or loved ones may refer to us as control...

5 Common Myths of Control Freaks

5 Common Myths of Control Freaks

Most control freaks live a life filled with grand illusions and myths about the efficacy of control.  Here are five common myths that control freaks harbor: Control Freaks Myth #1: The power to significantly change others. Truth: The only person...