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10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control.

Hence, the subtitle of my book Losing Control, Finding Serenity,  “How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go.”   As such, the book examines in-depth (using true stories) the many ways our need to control hurts us—and others.

Controlling too much is like gripping a rapidly moving conveyor belt—you either get burned or dragged along.

10 ways for control freaks to get themselves in check:

1.  The intensity of our control-driven actions “blinds” us from recognizing new paths and opportunities that could vastly improve our lives.

2.  The need to control our children’s lives deprives them of opportunities for personal growth.  It also leads to resentment between parent and child.

3.  Control obstructs the creative process.  Creativity flourishes with “opening up”, whereas control closes it down.

4.   Love control causes the dance of romance to lose its rhythm.  Who likes to feel they are not good enough in matters of the heart?

5.  Controlling others at work discourages original thought and ideas.   It also invites conflict and dissension.

6.  Control stymies spontaneity, and with that, the unexpected and often exciting joys it brings.

7.  Control impedes trust and intimacy.  When you keep telling others what they need to do or what’s best for them, they are reluctant to confide in and be open with you.

8.  The need to control diverts us from focusing on where it can do us the most good: ourselves!

9.  When you control, you can’t flow—especially in sports.

10.  Constantly trying to control or change others or things takes inordinate amounts of time.

So, doesn’t it make since to let go of control and enjoy the rewards that follow?

Please share with me and others your experiences about how your need to control has hurt you—and others.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”


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