The Love Enabler Test!

The Love Enabler Test!

Are You a Love Enabler?  It’s a less apparent form of love control.   In fact, you may not be aware that you are one or how much it can impact your love bond. Love Enabling When we continually give too much or do too much for our loved...

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #7: Letting Go of Control

Q: How can letting go of control allay some of the fear and anxiety associated with the current economic uncertainty brought about by Covid-19? A: The feeling of being powerless over our finances (and job prospects) can be extremely discomfiting...

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

Truths and Tips #6: Letting Go of Control

          Q: Is it difficult to let go of control?  Where does one begin?  A:   Letting go of control can be extremely difficult because we have been raised with control; it is taught to us and all around us.  Our parents, bosses, teachers, and...

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

         Truths and Tips #5: Letting Go of Control

Q: How does our need to control stiffen life’s possibilities?  A:   When we focus too intently on trying to control or change people and things we are putting “blinders” on our selves, and literally can’t see the options and opportunities that...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#2)

Truth and Tips Q&A #1 explained how fear was the prime driver of our need to control others and outcomes. Q&A #2 is a logical follow up: Q:How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less? (Part One)  A:  Effectively reducing our...

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#1)

Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips (#1)

The need to reign in our unhealthy compulsion to control is thus more important than ever, whether we are a so-called “control freak,” a micro-manager, a nitpicker, or simply someone who controls excessively. Toward that end, I will be sharing...

How to Let Go of Holiday Stress and Anxiety

How to Let Go of Holiday Stress and Anxiety

The holiday season is a time of great stress and anxiety for most people. We are forced to plod through heavy traffic, wade through crowded stores with too few sales clerks, incur unwanted financial burdens, and attend family gatherings fraught...

The Trust—Control Dynamic

The Trust—Control Dynamic

Many of us have trust issues and are control freaks. Have you ever thought about the connection or dynamic between control and trust? Or more specifically, about how trust impacts our ability to let go of control? To be truthful, I hadn’t given...

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control. Hence, the subtitle of my book Losing...

Control and Impermanence

Control and Impermanence

One of the illusions about control is that many of us believe we can significantly alter or impact the natural flow of things, or as I like to say, “life’s natural currents.” This is why our friends or loved ones may refer to us as control...

5 Keys to Practicing “Acceptance”

5 Keys to Practicing “Acceptance”

An underlying theme of my book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity, is that acceptance is fundamental to reducing our need to control. Readers agree. The most highlighted sentence of Amazon’s best selling eBook version is: “The more we accept...

Control Knows No Borders

Control Knows No Borders

My writing of Losing Control, Finding Serenity was primarily within the context of my struggles and personal recovery from the compulsive need to control most things and people in my life– particularly those closest to me—and the resulting...