4 Proven Ways to Reduce Holiday Stress and Find More Joy

The holiday season is a time of great stress and anxiety for most people. We are forced to plod through heavy traffic, wade through crowded stores with too few sales clerks, incur unwanted financial burdens, and attend family gatherings fraught with unresolved issues and conflicts amongst members.

Thus, it comes as no surprise when we repeatedly hear the proverbial, “I just dread the holidays.”

You don’t have to!

Just practice these four proven ways to reduce stress and find joy during the holidays (and after!):

Let Go of Control!

Holiday pressures exacerbate our tendency to rush, to press, to resist, to direct, to expect, and to criticize—all tension-creating control devices. The holidays will be much more pleasant if you let go of control and trust that everything will work out okay. Here’s a tip: Stop the “Future Events Already Ruined” speculations.

Here are some additional posts explaining some other ways to let go of control: Control—The Greatest Obstructor of All; Finding Time by Letting Go of Control.

Practice Acceptance

We are simply powerless over changing or controlling many things during the holidays, including what others may say or do. By accepting that we are powerless over such matters, we are no longer bound by them. Instead, accepting “what is” provides us with the opportunity to make reality based decisions and choices that reduce stress and anxiety, and even bring unexpected joy.

Lower Your Expectations

Try not to expect too much of others, especially family. High expectations often lead to disappointment and resentment–and stress and anxiety–when things don’t turn out as we want. Particularly during the holidays, it is better to have little or no expectations of how people will be or act. After all, they’re likely feeling holiday pressures themselves.

And try not to assume or anticipate conflict or discord with others based on past history and experiences. For example, if you are concerned about sitting at the same table with your wayward brother or sister at a holiday dinner or party, don’t make any assumptions—good or bad—about what might happen. Instead trust that you will be able to disengage (i.e., let go) from any problem that might occur and still enjoy the reunion.

Prioritize Self-Care

It is critical to take proper care of ourselves during the holidays. Self-care is too often relegated to anxiety creating “urgent matters.” Most things aren’t urgent. To discern, simply ask yourself, “How urgent is it?” With less sense of urgency, you will find it easier to enjoy some alone time for yourself each day, whether to meditate, journal, take a short walk, or just do something fun.

My new book, The Way of the Wave: Nature’s Model for Navigating Life’s Currents, includes chapters on these important subjects and how they help us flow with our life currents (including love and romance, parenting, work, athletic performance, and creative endeavors) in a calm, more connected, and more fulfilling manner.

In closing, I would like to wish you a very peaceful holiday season. And remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept What Is!