Q: How can we reduce our fears so that we will control less? (Part 2)
A: Letting Go of Control Truths and Tips Q&A #2 emphasized the importance of identifying our fears as the first step in reducing or removing them.
Once you have a clearer understanding of your fears, the next step is to confront and process them.
Here are two ways to do that:
- Objectify your fears. Separate the “real facts” from the dramas that your emotions script with respect to your unsettling feelings and concerns. The real facts are rarely as foreboding as our imaginations make them be. Most often they are illusory.
An acronym for this propensity is False Evidence Appearing Real.
So, make an effort to Objectify your fears by questioning the “false evidence!”
- Don’t speculate.Most speculations are negative. Be aware of your mind’s posing “what might happens” and then cease. You have the power to do that!
It helps if you remember an acronym for this unhealthy dynamic: Future Events Already Ruined.
Remember that nothing is “ruined” at this moment! Most of my speculations never happened. Very likely, yours, too. Be cognizant of that, and
I can tell you with confidence that if you are able to confront and process your fears in these ways, even if only for a short while, their tentacles will begin to loosen their grip and you will experience immediate relief, and with that, your need or compulsion to control will diminish. Maybe even disappear!
Questions to Ponder:
- How often do you speculate about future events?
- What percentage of time did they fail to occur?
I would be curious to know your answers. Please share them with me.
In the meantime, remember to
“Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!”
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