The Faith-Control Connection

The Faith-Control Connection

In this blog and in Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Contol Hurts Us and How to Let It Go, I discuss decontrol tools and strategies that reduce the compulsion or need to control in vital areas of our lives, such as family and...

Understanding Control Freak Dynamics

Understanding Control Freak Dynamics

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go and on this blog I write about how to deal with control freaks (and excessive controllers) and what’s behind their often abusive behavior. Thomas J...

Over Controlling Parents–Harm Now Confirmed

Over Controlling Parents–Harm Now Confirmed

  New research from the University of New Hampshire confirms that authoritarian parents whose child-rearing style is summed up as “it’s my way or the highway” are more likely to raise disrespectful, delinquent children who do not see them as...

Are You a Love Enabler?

Are You a Love Enabler?

Last Valentine’s day I wrote about the importance of letting go of love control and offered a few suggestions on how to do it. Love control comes in many forms.  When you advise your loved one about what he or she should do or how to be, you are...

Tips for Letting Go of High Expectations

Tips for Letting Go of High Expectations

Setting intentions for letting go of control in our life is very helpful.  A key one for me is  “moderate my expectations.”   Unrealistic expectations  propel us to try to control vital aspects of our lives such as family, intimate relations...

Intentions For Letting Go of Control

Intentions For Letting Go of Control

The beginning of the year is an ideal time to form your intentions for letting go of control.   Such intentions are a simple, yet highly effective way in which to remove the urge to want to control people and things.   Here are a few intentions...

Tips for Letting Go of Stress During the Holidays

Tips for Letting Go of Stress During the Holidays

The holiday season is a time of great stress and anxiety for most people.   We are forced to plod through heavy traffic, wade through crowded stores with too few sales clerks, incur unwanted financial burdens, and attend family gatherings fraught...

How Confidence Helps Tame Control Freaks

How Confidence Helps Tame Control Freaks

In my radio interviews following the publication of Losing Control, Finding Serenity, I am frequently asked for advice on how people can deal with the control freaks in their lives, whether it be a controlling spouse at home or a control freak...

An Overlooked Key to Improving Your Life

An Overlooked Key to Improving Your Life

Most of us strive to improve our lives emotionally, spiritually, creatively and financially, and we continually explore ways to do so.   The means we try are numerous, varied, and personal.   Some people read self-improvement books; others attend...

Parenting Problems for Type A Personalities

Parenting Problems for Type A Personalities

Today’s edition of the Personal Journal section of the Wall Street Journal features an interesting article by Sue Shellenbarger entitled “Ambitious Parents, Mellow Children,” that discusses the parenting struggles of Type A parents who are...

Coaching, Sports–and Life: To Control or Not to Control?

Coaching, Sports–and Life: To Control or Not to Control?

  In previous posts I have explained that when athletes try to control the game too much (using Kobe Bryant as an example), it not only adversely impacts their performance, but that of their teammates as well.   I have also explained how the...

Five Good Reasons For Accepting People As They Are*

Five Good Reasons For Accepting People As They Are*

There’s a good reason why dogs are considered “man’s best friend.”   They offer us unconditional acceptance! Even when we’re mad at them or mistreat them, they accept us–often with a wagging tale! Now with...