When we expect too much of others, most often we are trying to change or control them in some manner. And in doing so, by definition, we aren’t accepting them as they are. Simply put,“When you expect, you can’t accept.” The Illusions of...
(4th in an ongoing series on Acceptance in The Time of Coronavirus) I’ve often talked and written about the importance of moderating our expectations if we wish to control less and accept more. High expectations can hurt us in a lot of...
The Holidays are upon us! As beautiful as this season is with decorations, holiday songs, and gift giving, it also comes with a lot of stress , anxiety, apprehension and agitation. Getting the expensive item on sale, standing in lines, and...
In Losing Control, Finding Serenity I explain how high expectations are a driving force behind our need to control our loved ones, children, friends and others. High expectations of others pressure them to do and be what we want, or what we feel...
Many parents pressure their children to follow the same paths they followed, or ones that they believe are “best” for them, particularly with regard to education and vocation decisions, religious choices, and cultural and social activities...
There are vital links or connections between acceptance, expectations, and the need to control. That’s why they are such an integral part of the discourse on this blog and in my book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control...
Sports stars seem to easily recognize the types of controlling actions that severely undermine peak performance.Adrian Gonzalez, a prolific home run hitter, is the most recent athlete to do so. The Los Angeles Dodgers paid a huge amount ($126...
Poor Albert Pujols. All those high expectations from fans, the owner–and himself. And why not? A $240 million dollar contract can drum up a lot of expectations. Is there thus any wonder why Albert is slumping so terribly? Undue...
High expectations of others plant the seeds for disappointment and resentment. Whether assertive or subtle, expecting too much of others pressures them to act and be, as we want them to. At its core, it is our attempt to control or change...
Setting intentions for letting go of control in our life is very helpful. A key one for me is “moderate my expectations.” Unrealistic expectations propel us to try to control vital aspects of our lives such as family, intimate relations...
Many of us recognize the benefits of letting go of control and have a strong desire to do so, but struggle with it. That’s perfectly understandable when you consider that we have been raised and have always lived in a control based world. ...
