When we expect too much of others, most often we are trying to change or control them in some manner. And in doing so, by definition, we aren’t accepting them as they are. Simply put,“When you expect, you can’t accept.” The Illusions of...
The Holidays are upon us! As beautiful as this season is with decorations, holiday songs, and gift giving, it also comes with a lot of stress , anxiety, apprehension and agitation. Getting the expensive item on sale, standing in lines, and...
We all have uncomfortable lulls in our lives where we feel things are at a standstill, or when we have nothing interesting or productive to engage us, or when we simply feel stuck. Even the word lull itself makes me feel a certain dread. My lulls...
“Let go of control. You never had it in the first place!” Most control freaks do not agree with the above statement. What about you? Not sure you agree? Then consider this: “If you always do what you always did, you always get what you...
In Losing Control, Finding Serenity I explain how high expectations are a driving force behind our need to control our loved ones, children, friends and others. High expectations of others pressure them to do and be what we want, or what we feel...
An underlying theme of my book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity, is that acceptance is fundamental to reducing our need to control. Readers agree. The most highlighted sentence of Amazon’s best selling eBook version is: “The more we accept...
It’s during this time of year that we often hear the proverbial, “I just dread the holidays.” I previously shared how this “dread” and its associated stress and anxiety can be lessened by letting go of control, as well as offering some useful...
There are vital links or connections between acceptance, expectations, and the need to control. That’s why they are such an integral part of the discourse on this blog and in my book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control...
Because of their importance to my serenity, I annually review and update my intentions for letting go of control. Such intentions are highly effective in reducing our need or compulsion to control others and things. Below are my intentions for...
Sports stars seem to easily recognize the types of controlling actions that severely undermine peak performance.Adrian Gonzalez, a prolific home run hitter, is the most recent athlete to do so. The Los Angeles Dodgers paid a huge amount ($126...
Several months ago I offered some decontrol suggestions to Albert Pujols on how he could come out of the horrendous batting slump he was mired in following his signing a record breaking contract with the Los Angeles Angels. At the time, he was...
High expectations of others plant the seeds for disappointment and resentment. Whether assertive or subtle, expecting too much of others pressures them to act and be, as we want them to. At its core, it is our attempt to control or change...
