The holiday season is a time of great stress and anxiety for most people. We are forced to plod through heavy traffic, wade through crowded stores with too few sales clerks, incur unwanted financial burdens, and attend family gatherings fraught with unresolved issues and conflicts amongst members.
Thus, it comes as no surprise when we repeatedly hear the proverbial, “I just dread the holidays.”
I have a solution for much of your holiday anxiety: Let Go of Control!
Holiday pressures exacerbate our tendency to rush, to press, to resist, to direct, to expect, and to criticize—all tension-creating control devices.
Wouldn’t you enjoy yourself much more during the holidays if you were able to take it easy and trust that everything would work out okay?
You can—by letting go of control. Here are some holiday decontrol tips that will assist you.
1. Accept “What Is”
We are simply powerless over changing or controlling many things during the holidays–and in our lives in general. If we are able to accept that reality, we can then make reality based decisions and choices that reduce stress and anxiety, and even bring unexpected joy. Acceptance is the best antidote for control. And there are many more gifts of acceptance.
2. Lower Your Expectations
Try not to expect too much of others, especially family. High expectations of people and things often lead to disappointment and resentment–and stress and anxiety–when things don’t turn out as we want. Particularly during the holidays, It is much better to have little or no expectations of how people will be or act. After all, they’re likely feeling holiday pressures themselves. And don’t assume or anticipate conflict or discord with others based on past history and experiences.
For example, if you are concerned about sitting at the same table with your wayward brother or sister at a holiday dinner or party, don’t make any assumptions—good or bad—about what might happen. Instead trust that you will be able to disengage (i.e., let go) from any problem that might occur and still enjoy the reunion.
3. Be Patient and Go With the Flow.
Allow holiday “currents” to progress and evolve naturally, rather than pressing for resolutions. Life is always in a constant state of motion—shifting and ebbing and flowing—even more so during the holiday rush. Focus on being calm and grounded, and wait for the currents to flow your way. Then engage them intuitively, rather than forcefully. To better do this, plan some alone time for yourself each day, whether to meditate, journal, take a short walk, or just do something fun.
My forthcoming book, The Way of the Wave: Nature’s Model for Navigating Life’s Currents, explores how we can go with the the flow or ride the Wave in our diverse life currents, including love and romance, parenting, work, athletic performance, and creative endeavors. (You can pre-order the ebook version at a special launch price of only $2.99 here.)
4. Keep Things Simple
Don’t complicate things by over planning and over thinking. Don’t fret about all the “what ifs” and “what could happens.” Worrying only plants the seeds for those things to happen! Instead, trust that everything will work out as it was meant to be. By keeping things simple you will save considerable time and energy and reduce stress and tension for yourself and those around you.
If you try these “decontrol” tips I am confident you will enjoy the holidays more. You might even look forward to them!
In closing, I would like to wish you a very peaceful holiday season. And remember to,
Let It Go–and Accept What Is!
Danny
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