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Expand Your Life Options by Letting Go of Control



A major benefit of letting go of control is that it expands your life options.  The very intensity and obsessiveness of our controlling actions obscure our vision, and we literally are unable to see the opportunities that are right before us.

This dynamic is like the “farsightedness” that results when we intensely search for something we have misplaced.  How many times have you searched relentlessly for your keys or cell phone, but to no avail?   And then when you finally stop looking for them, you quickly spot them, right there in front of you.

My Obsessive Search Bore No Fruit

After acquiring a beautiful dining room set three years ago, I was set upon finding a vintage art deco light fixture to complement it. I became obsessed with finding the right fixture.   I had a clear vision of the type of fixture I wanted and nothing else would do.  For two years, I unsuccessfully scoured Los Angeles lighting stores.  I repeatedly visited one store in particular—Liz’s Hardware—known for its vintage light fixtures.  I had high hopes that the right fixture might eventually appear.  Nothing did. I finally gave up.

After I stopped Searching, “Fruition” Came

A few months later, my wife and I were enjoying a Saturday afternoon together.  She asked if I wanted to see if anything new had come in at Liz’s.  To her surprise, I said “No, I’ve given up searching for the piece.”  Unbelievably, less than thirty minutes later we passed a store with an unusual store front.  From the outside, the only thing you could see were two old fashioned cameras on tripods pointing at white partitions.  I was intrigued, turned around and parked.

As we entered the store, an unusual, very eclectic potpourri of art and furniture greeted us on all sides.  The store felt otherworldly.  Stepping into a back room, we glanced up and saw unusual metal sculpture pieces attached to twisted iron cords that hung down from the high ceiling—to which were randomly attached glowing lights shaped like ostrich eggs.  Indeed, the store manager informed us that some of the fixtures were ostrich eggs that had been pierced so the light could shine through.

We immediately placed an order for a fixture; it now graces our dining room with its inviting light.

I would never have found this beautiful, functional art piece had I continued my high expectation, insistent, controlling ways.  It was only when I removed my expectations and stopped actively looking for what I thought I needed that the currents were “released” and brought opportunity into my life.  The results were even better than I’d expected.  The piece is not only totally different than what I was so set on finding, but it is also well beyond any beauty that I could have imagined possible.

Removing the Blinders

I know from repeated experience in all areas of my life that when I lose control, my blinders are removed, my vision vastly expands, and I become more aware of the wonders that are around me.

Whether at work or at home, and whether in art or in performance, you will benefit immensely from the options and unexpected opportunities that arise when you are willing to step back and allow the “currents” to flow naturally.

In the meantime, remember to,

Let It Go–and Accept “What Is!”

Danny Miller

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  • Ron Tedwater
    Posted November 12, 2010 at 11:42 pm

    Really nice post,thank you

  • Rebekah Spotts
    Posted November 17, 2010 at 5:06 pm

    pretty helpful material, overall I consider this is well worth a bookmark, thanks

    • Post Author
      Daniel A. Miller
      Posted November 18, 2010 at 3:29 pm

      Thank you Rebekah. I’m glad you found it helpful.

Comments are closed.