Q: Romantic relationships can be stressful, especially when we try to “improve” or change our partner’s behavior and habits. How can accepting our loved one for who they are enhance our love bond?
A: I don’t think any of us like being told by our mates how we should act or behave, or to be someone other than whom we are. Such pressure makes us feel “less than” or not good enough. Who want to feel that in matters of the heart?
Simply put, “love control” breeds resentment and undermines intimacy.
On the other hand, accepting our loved ones for the way they are improves the “love flow” in several respects. First, it removes the pressure to satisfy another person and be other than themself. That fosters trust and openness. Secondly, it allows us to focus on our role in the relationship. Everyone plays some part in the unhealthy dynamics of a relationship that can be improved.
Core Questions to Ponder:
Q: In which ways do you try to change your loved one’s ways?
Q: How have they worked for you?
In the meantime, remember to
Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!”
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