How to Judge Less: Currents of Wisdom Series

Welcome back to the Currents of Wisdom Weekly Q&A Series—a space where we explore transformative insights from my new book, The Way of the Wave: Nature’s Model for Navigating Life’s Currents. In this series, I share practical wisdom on embracing life’s natural flow to overcome challenges, reduce stress, and cultivate inner peace. This week, we take a closer look at another powerful Wave Obstructor: judgment—and why being more accepting helps us release it and move through life with greater compassion, humility, and self-awareness.

Many of us are quick to being judgmental of others, yet you say that “judging harms mainly ourselves.” How so, and how can we be more open to others’ differences?

Do you ever find yourself rolling your eyes over what someone does?  Or find yourself thinking or saying things like “You’re doing it all wrong!”, “He talks too much”, or “They’re way too indulgent with their kids.”

When we judge or criticize the choices and actions of others, our focus is on finding fault or flaws with them. That diverts our attention (and intention) from where it can do us the most good: ourselves and what we can do to improve our lives. In terms of the Wave, when we focus on how others navigate their life currents, we can’t navigate our own well.

We can be more open to others’ differences by being more humble, less self-righteous, and examining our own motives. That’s why I continually ask myself, “what purpose does my judging serve?” I haven’t found a good answer yet.

Above all, I believe to judge less, we need to be more accepting. When we accept people and things as they are, there is little need for us to judge them.

Here are a few Inquiries and Reflections that can help you do that:

• Make note of your judgments for a day, or even half a day. Be sure to include the silent ones that you keep to yourself.         
• What feelings or beliefs are behind your judgments? Do they serve any useful purpose?
• How often do you judge yourself?  What do you gain by it? Are they the same kinds of things that you judge others by?

If this reflection resonates with you, you can explore more practices like this in The Way of the Wave: Nature’s Model for Navigating Life’s Currents, available now in paperback, e-book, and audiobook.

Until next time, may you go with the Wave.

—Danny

Want to dive into another wave obstructor? Read Part 4 of the Currents of Wisdom Series: Control—The Greatest Obstructor of All