In media interviews for The Gifts of Acceptance I was often asked, “what are the keys to practicing acceptance?”
When I said “humility” is an important key, some interviewers asked me to explain further because the link between humility and acceptance was not readily apparent.
Yet, it’s a very direct one.
Simply put, in order to accept people as they are, we need to be humble. Within the context of acceptance, that means we must recognize and accept that:
- We truly don’t know what’s best for others–including our loved ones, children, and family. (We are not as omniscient, as many of us are prone to believe!)
- Our way is not the only way. It’s just a way, nothing more. In most cases, there are multiple paths to an acceptable destination.
- What works well for us doesn’t mean that it will work well for others. Everyone is unique and responds to events and challenges differently.
- Everyone has the right to determine (and choose) what’s best for them, and we should respect and honor their choices as long as they don’t harm us or those close to us.
Probably the most challenging aspect of being humble is to be non-judgmental. We are not accepting of others when we judge, criticize, or press our views on them. Nor should we constantly try to control or change people, no matter how much we think it will benefit them.
Admittedly, it’s much easier to understand humility than to practice it. As a former compulsive controller, it’s been a life long challenge for me to refrain from telling others, particularly those closest to me, what I think they should do or not do, or how they should be.
It’s all too easy to justify our intrusions as acts of love, care, and concern. However, experience has proven to me time and again that I risk doing more harm than good—to others and myself—when I fail to be humble.
In my forthcoming book, The Way of the Wave: Nature’s Model for Navigating Life’s Currents, I explain how humility also enhances our ability to navigate our life’s currents, especially in close relationships.**
In the meantime, remember to
Let It Go—and Accept “What Is!”
…and Let’s Help Make Acceptance Go Viral!
Danny
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