Are You a Love Controller?

Are you or your loved one a love controller? If so, this can be very hard on the relationship. Love control obstructs the romantic flow.  It forces the action, rather than allowing the love currents to unfold naturally so that people can relax...

Accepting Your Foes Helps!

Reading the above title, you may be thinking, “Why should I accept people who are trying to harm or cause me trouble?  They are the last people I would want to accept!” I know I used to feel that way, especially before starting my personal...

The Link Between Addiction and Control

The lives of addicts often reel out of control, especially for those who have not started down the path to personal recovery. Many feel ashamed and powerless over their addiction and many things in their lives. To counter their anxiety and...

The Control—Misery Link

Control freaks beware—those controlling tendencies can create misery in your life. A friend recently shared, “The more I try to control things in my life, the more miserable I become.  In fact, the misery in my life is directly proportional to...

10 Ways the Need to Control Hurts You

image by Sara Hasse Many people call them control freaks.  Some call them controllers.  Others refer to them as nitpickers and micromanagers.  Whatever you call them, they all have one clear thing in common: The Need to Control. Hence, the...

5 Ways High Expectations Hurt You

In Losing Control, Finding Serenity, I explain how high expectations are a driving force behind our need to control our loved ones, children, friends and others. High expectations of others pressure them to do and be what we want, or what we feel...

Control and Impermanence

One of the illusions about control is that many of us believe we can significantly alter or impact the natural flow of things, or as I like to say, “life’s natural currents.” This is why our friends or loved ones may refer to us as control...

5 Keys to Practicing “Acceptance”

An underlying theme of my book, Losing Control, Finding Serenity, is that acceptance is fundamental to reducing our need to control. Readers agree. The most highlighted sentence of Amazon’s best selling eBook version is: “The more we accept...

Letting Go of Denial

Denial is usually associated with rejecting or denying a certain state of affairs, or thinking or believing that things “aren’t so.” However, denial really encompasses much more than that; wishful thinking, turning a blind eye, and withdrawal...

The Blessings of Acceptance

There is an integral relationship between accepting life and people as they are, and enjoying a life with greater serenity.   Acceptance leads to new choices, discoveries and possibilities—many unexpected—as well as reduced stress, worry, and...

Should You Accept the “Unacceptable?”

PART ONE  In speaking with people about their acceptance stories for the new book I’m writing, The Blessings of Acceptance, I am often asked “why should I accept the unacceptable?”  My short response is, “You’ve already answered that by your...

5 Common Myths of Control Freaks

Most control freaks live a life filled with grand illusions and myths about the efficacy of control.  Here are five common myths that control freaks harbor:   Control Freaks Myth #1: The power to significantly change others. Truth: The only...