I am always exploring the connections between our feelings and emotions, behavior patterns and our propensity to control—or not control–others and outcomes.   Certain control catalysts are quite clear—fear, anger, anxiety, for instance–and I have written about them extensively in this blog and in Losing Control, Finding Serenity: How the Need to Control Hurts Us and How to Let It Go.

Other factors, however, are less apparent.   One that came to mind the other day is confidence.   Confidence is generally considered a positive trait and influence in most aspects of our lives.   We perform better when we are confident.  We feel better when we are confident.  We are more balanced when we are confident.   And we are less fearful when we are confident.

But what about the connection between confidence and control?

There appears to be a strong inverse relationship between the two: the more confident we are, the less we feel the need to control.

Why so?   Here are a few reasons.    When we are confident,

*We are much less fearful, resentful, and anxious.

*We have greater trust that things will work out okay for us.

*We more readily accept that others are the best suited to make choices and decisions that impact their lives.

*We are more willing to flow within life’s natural currents, rather than try to resist them.

(Confidence is also very helpful in dealing with control freaks.  See my post, “How Confidence Helps Tame Control Freaks.”)

I would be interested in knowing your take on this subject.   Are you less controlling when you are confident?   Less anxious and fearful?  Are you more willing to accept people as they are when you are confident?

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go!


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