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Two Keys to Accepting Your Loved One As They Are

I’ve previously shared two keys to enhancing the love flow on Valentine’s Day:

*Accepting your love one as they are, and

*Moderating the expectations you have of them.

In this post I would like to expand on the importance of “love acceptance” and two ways that make it easier.

When we don’t accept our love one for who and how they are, are we not really communicating to them that they are not good enough?  That they fall short?   Who wants to feel that — particularly in matters of the heart?  Do you?

It should thus come as no surprise that not accepting our love one as they are invariably results in anger and resentment, and undermines love, intimacy, and trust.

Simply put, when we don’t accept our love one as they are, it severely dampens the love flow.

Two Keys to Accepting Your love One

*Focus on the things you like and appreciate about them. Rather than commiserating about the things that irritate or bother you about your love one, focus on their positive traits.    Remember what originally attracted you to them.   Think about all the nice things they do for you.   The good times you enjoy together.  Their sense of humor.  And so on.

In short, see the good in them and the good they bring to your life.

*Recognize that you are powerless to change them.   Although we may not want to accept this, the truth of the matter is that we are essentially powerless over changing those aspects of our love one that we don’t like.    Any changes must come from them, and the more we try to change or control them, the less likely it will happen.    Indeed, it usually makes matters worse. (See my article, “Letting Go of Control Improves the Love Flow.”)

I encourage you to try be more accepting of your love one, and what better time to start than on Valentine’s Day!  I am confident it will enhance the love flow in your life.

And please share your love acceptance stories with me.

In the meantime, remember to

Let It Go!

Danny

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2 Comments

  • virginiacavicocruz
    Posted February 15, 2013 at 8:27 pm

    accepting the flaws/shortcomings of a loveone must be forever…not just on a valentine day.that ‘s my way of loving my one and only gem in life…my dear husband.

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